Last year today, I was in Chicago with my squad spending time together and learning about the ministries in the area. God reminded me of my love for the middle-eastern community, and even rediscovered my passion for immigrants, refugees, asylum seekers, and migrants.

As my world back home was flipped upside down,

I knew I had to choose to stay, not only physically, but mentally, emotionally, and spiritually in this 11-month trip. 

Today, I was listening to an almost-podcast, and this part really resonated with me:

“...and the most selfish thing you can do, is to not process where you are, because you won’t become who you’re supposed to be, for people, to the glory of God...”

-Not Better, Just Different (feat. Chandler Moore)

TriblThis really spoke to me, especially because it wasn’t the first time I had heard this. My brother shared similar advice/truth with me days ago, and I see how I’ve let myself be deceived at times in this weird season I’m in. I will sharing more on what I have realized on another blog. :))))

Anyway, so yeah, last year today, I was in a new season that involved a list of new experiences. It was overwhelming, but overwhelmingly great. I was overwhelmed by what life would look like back home, but I tried my best to compartmentalize that to protect my mind and even my heart from the heartbreak. Sometimes I tried so hard that I prevented God from comforting me.

I’m 2 months in re-entry, and back home. It’s been overwhelming. I’ve been in a season of learning to implement practical ways to not shutdown and/or shut God and people out, and to see beauty in the brokenness, in loss, in grief and to not let lies tear me down.

In other words, how to practically take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ 2 Corinthians 10:5

So what is happening in my life? Well:

• I recently came back from a 2 week trip in the states (thanks for picking me up, Pa)
• I’m going to therapy
• I applied for a job yesterday, and I got it in less than 24 hours
• I hold, sing, and goo-goo-ga-ga with my niece every day
• I have thoughts to maybe or maybe not travel next year
• I’m doing things at my own pace and listening and waiting on the Lord
• I feel lonely sometimes, and so I meet up with my community and text friends more often than before because, I know I wasn’t created to be isolated from people
• I didn’t lose weight on the trip *cry-laughing emoji*, but gained weight, so I’ll be joining the gym soon, and I’ll be keeping an eye on my food portions (thanks for the advice, Ma)
• I’m praying and preparing for the day I’m ready to go back to church

 Re-entry is hard. It is not for the faint, but for the brave. Transitioning back into your society is hard.

I’ve been learning to have more compassion for myself; the compassion, mercy, and grace that God gave to all of us through Jesus. It is for us.

So, yes, pray for me. I need it. :) I am also praying for you.

thanks for reading guys, also — i’m working on having my own blog website, which I’m super excited about. I love expressing myself and bringing you guys into what God is showing me in life. So yeah, until next time on my new blog (maybe?),

and with much love,

J

2-week-trip mems