Friendships: Where do I stand? 

Month 1:

I remember when my team and I shared our testimonies with one another back in Chicago,  I mentioned my view on friendships. I would say that my mind was set on my view and I didn’t see room for change nor growth in this area of my life. But let me tell you... my mind has definitely shifted during these past 4-5 months because of Jesus and living life with my team.

My view: I value friendships very much, but I do not consider and wont consider anyone my best friend, except Jesus.

The view may sound “christiany”, but... there is something off with this statement. Why? Well, I realize that I had been justifying myself from fully opening my heart to people for a long time.

Let’s rewind a bit:

As a child and until my teenage years up until high school, I could say that I struggled with idolizing most of my best friends because I thought that my worth came from what they thought and felt about me.

When I became a Christian at age 16, and gained revelation of who God was, who I was, and what my purpose in life was, I identified my battle with idolization. My way of ”fighting” all these years against idolizing friendships has been to keep people at an arms distance, close... but not close enough. It felt and seemed healthy for me to do this but, on this journey...

Month 5:

...I realized that my view on friendships wasn’t rooted on my fight against idolization. God allowed me to identify something that had gone unnoticed in me.

My view was rooted in fears, hurts, and lies of the devil.

My statement of, “Jesus is my best friend and no one else is...” had partially been rooted in fear of being hurt by those I opened my whole-heart to.

If I don’t open my heart completely, then it wont hurt as bad if they decide to leave me... right?

There are walls I have put up in order to protect myself from getting hurt because I know how painful it is to lose people. I can admit that I have the fear of being abandoned and neglected from those I open up to once they see my imperfections. I would like to avoid the pain.

<3

Guys, thank you for reading! The story on my view on friendships does not end here. For next week I will be blogging A mind shift on friendships pt. 2. I am so excited to tell you more on my mind shift and realizations next week!

With much love from the jungle of Los Chiles,

J<3